It all started on a cold January day back in '93. As the 8 mph winds (according to Wolfy) swept over the green mountains, our hero, Morgante Orion Pell, was born on January 14 to Andrea Morgante, a landscaper, and David Pell, a carpenter. His middle name—which contributes to the unfortunate initials of a cleaning instrument—comes from the hunter who stalks the night sky during those cold winter nights. Our hero spent the next sixteen years of his life in Hinesburg, Vermont, which is a nice little town if you like nice little towns. Over those years, he developed an interest in politics, reading listening to The New Yorker, pretending to understand modern art, and other habits of the American would-be intellectual. As is fitting for any respectable member of the intelligentsia, our hero depends upon an array of fruit-bearing devices, including a unibody MacBook Pro and an iPhone 3G. Politically, our hero's views are generally described as progressive—though the reasons for these politics is a mystery given his general attitude of condescension towards those less fortunate and intelligent than himself. When not conquering the world and downloading knowledge, he debates politics, education, and software—frequently with himself. Besides conquering the free world, his goal in life is to have a Wikipedia page which merits vandalism protection. Finally, our hero has a propensity for writing in the third person—with an excess of em dashes.
Education
Morgante graduated from Hinesburg Community School in 2007 with high honors. After failed attempts at finding a conservative education, he begrudgingly began a liberal education at Champlain Valley Union High School. There, our hero studies everything befitting a modern-day homo universalis, including French, Latin, mathematics, and other languages. Between classes, he can be found prowling the halls, muttering this sentence is false
to himself. As part of a transparency initiative sponsored by the Institute for Auto-privacy Invasion (not to be confused with the Institute for Automobile Privacy Invasion, which is sponsored by the FBI), all our hero's grades are posted online for the hoi polloi to admire. In 2009, he embarked on a voyage to the City of Light, where he spent a month learning of art history, French literature, alcohol, and other fine things.
Work
As many an anti-social young man has over the years, our hero found companionship in computers. Without formal education, he taught himself to speak their languages, including PHP, HTML, CSS, and Javascript. Using these languages, he manipulates computers with Jedi-like control and ninja-like speed. His Jedi-ninja-hybrid abilities allowed him to build a company, which he named MasterMade for his Jedi Master rank. There, he designs websites for clients, develops web applications, and secretly plots to conquer the world. If you would like your city to be spared (or would like a website), submit a request to The Company.
Writing
As any overly-pompous male must, our hero has been known to write and publish his all-important thoughts. Though he dabbles with ill-conceived bits of poetry, his favored medium is prose, particularly overly long blog posts. These he publishes on his ironically stupidly-named blog. Occasionally, when the mood strikes him, he will consort with his peers upon Young Writers Project, where he posts cliche-ridden poetry reflecting non-existent teenage angst. Also, did I mention he likes em dashes?